Can You Drive Me Home?

I’ve recently finished watching 13 Reasons Why and it scared me. It terrified me.
I’m not sure I’m even in a place to write this blog. I have so many thoughts, opinions, feelings and I’m not sure that I’m able to spit it all out correctly.

If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s about a teenage girl, Hannah Baker, who walks you through her decision to kill herself. She recorded 13 tapes, each containing a reason as to what led her to make this terrible choice. She mailed the tapes to someone to pass on to the people that are a ‘reason’ as to why she ended her life.

This show is not nice, it’s not pretty, it’s not relaxing. It’s vulgar, it’s raw, and it’s scary.
I wasn’t going to watch it because I’m easily swayed by a story and I feel for the characters (even if they’re not real) and a show can ruin my whole day. So I read the stats instead. Surely I could read the stats maybe a story or two and save some time. But the stats on suicide will overwhelm you. They will hurt you and break your heart. They will blow your mind and then confuse you. They will make you question what these people have gone through. They make you realize

Hannah Baker is real. You know a Hannah Baker.

My first thoughts were simple.
– Everyone plays a role in suicide, whether it’s helpful and just wasn’t enough or it’s harmful. The choices we make, the things we say, the actions we do will effect someone. If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all.
– 
Hannah was desperate for attention. We all are. We all want someone to love and notice us, but killing yourself will not help.
– What kind of world do we live in? Why are drugs, alcohol, self-harm, rape, sexism, and adults who don’t care normal for teens?

Thoughts
When I finished the show I could only think one thing, what are these parents doing? What are they doing! Where are they?
Bryce was left alone for days, weeks, maybe months at a time. Left in a mansion with alcohol everywhere and anywhere.
Justin was abused, kicked out of his home, and abandoned by his mother for a drunk.
Zach had his mother fight his own battles and hold his hand while being told he’s perfect and could never do anything wrong.
Courtney was always pressured to be perfect and nothing less.
Alex and Jessica called their father ‘sir’.
Jessica was also left home alone for weeks.
Tyler had a gun hiding in his room and his parents had no idea.

This show was just proof that children aren’t treated like children anymore. There is no separation and it causes so much confusion among them. I understand that teenagers are older than children, but they aren’t capable of being treated like adults. Because of this, they act “older”. They take on the stress, alcohol, drugs, etc. and feel as if they can do it all by themselves. They think they are indestructible.

It is too much.

What do they do now? Talk to someone? What if no one is there? What if the teachers in our education system say ‘not my kid, not my problem‘. They then are “forced to take the only way out” of this chaotic life that absent parents, disinterested teachers, and over independent selves have created.

Word of advice
Be there for your children, be there for your students, be there for your friends, just please, be there. Be present in their lives, issues, failures, struggles because if you are, you’ll be able to be there for their accomplishments, joys, milestones, and most importantly – the rest of their lives.

The next time someone asks for a drive home, take them up on the offer.
You might save a life.

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I Can Adult

My parents have always taught my brother and I how to be independent. They coached us through things and were always there to help us when we didn’t know what we were doing. There were times we made our parents proud and were hard workers. There were also times we gave up and asked for more help than we needed, but I guess that’s pretty normal for children to do.
After moments like:
– My dad driving to Salisbury to check my car to make sure my lights were working,
– My mother sewing costumes or outfits for me,
– My dad being my safety blanket in Guatemala,
– My mom always going shopping with me an giving me an honest opinion,
– My dad sitting through all my dance/drama productions,
– My mom cleaning my room while I was away at camp,
– Both of them being my GPS until this day.
The thought what would I do without my mom or my dad always popped into my mind.

It popped into my mind so often that I was scared I couldn’t do things on my own. Was I able to figure out if my lights worked on their own? Was I able to fill out forms on my own? Was I able to provide for myself? I was 20 years old and I honestly couldn’t answer these questions. I hate change, but I wanted it. I wanted to know that I could be okay, so I decided to follow a dream that I’ve had for a while. I found a nanny job away from home and I left to see if I could do it. I will admit, there were ups and a lot of downs. There were times where I had no idea what I was doing, there were times I wanted to give up and go home, but there was also times where I didn’t want to change a thing. As crazy as this journey is, it is the experience where I have learned the absolute most.

I learned about my car. No, I’m no where’s near a genius with cars at all, but I know when to change my oil, how to open the hood of my car (I couldn’t figure it out for months because it’s harder than most, I promise.), fill my windshield wiper fluid, how to get my gas tank opened when it’s frozen shut, the whereabouts of a problem in my car, and if I don’t know the issue, I just go with a wheel barring issue because for some reason, I do not have luck with those.

I learned about houses. I’m starting to understand real estate and mortgages. I understand there is a crazy amount of things to look into when renting, buying, and selling a house. Again, I’m not a genius when it comes to this, but I actually understand the process of houses and paying bills. Who knew how much the channels you watch cost a month? I didn’t, but I do now.

I learned how to cook. Olive oil is my best friend and gets me out of sticky situations. I have memorized recipes, learned what goes together, and can build a meal without a recipe if need be. I know how to make the weirdest things like milk, salad dressing, fish (it’s only weird because I will never ever eat fish), pickle soup, vegan pancakes, and so much more. There are definitely times that I have called my mother to ask questions about what to do, but overall, I could definitely feed your kids.

And most importantly, I learned about myself. I learned what I believe, and that I’m incredibly lucky that my parents raised me and taught me the things they did. I learned how to stand up for myself. Controversy is my least favourite thing, so it was always easy for me to keep angry inside and let things go. When I went through the ridiculous Fleming experience (more on that later), I couldn’t just walk away. I couldn’t be disrespected and I wasn’t going to let one person ruin my passion. I needed to stand up for myself and what I believed in. The best thing that I learned about myself is that I can overcome my fear of being hurt and truly let someone in. I was never one to date or even look for a guy, but I finally opened that door and met the greatest guy that’s ever walked into my life, and for once, I’m excited to see where this goes.

This journey has been crazy, I have learned and I have loved. It will always hold a special place in my heart. I’m so thankful that I had this experience, but who knows, maybe it’s time for a new journey.

To all my friends and family back home,
Love always,
Britt

Repeat After Me

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I saw this picture on Twitter awhile ago and I just skipped over it because I “didn’t have time to read it”. It showed up in my newsfeed again the other day and I took the time to read it. At first I didn’t have any thought, I didn’t want some picture from Twitter to make me angry. As soon as I started scrolling passed it, I became frustrated. No one is telling you that you have to go to school, get a job, get married, have children, pay your taxes and bills, watch TV, listen to the news, or obey the law. No one is telling you you have to do any of these things.
-If you want to drop out of high school, heck even middle school, you can.
-If you don’t want to get a job and sleep all day, you can.
-If you don’t want to get married and want to keep to yourself, you can.
-If you and your spouse don’t want kids and want to sleep in until 11 on weekends, you can.
-If you don’t want to watch TV or listen to the news and want to go for a jog, you can.
-If you don’t want to pay your bills or taxes and want to lose everything, you can.
-If you don’t want to obey the law and end up and jail, you can.
If you still don’t think you are free I encourage you to keep reading because I would like to state a few things.

The opposite of being free is being bound, captive, imprisoned, trapped. If you are saying you aren’t free, you are claiming to be enslaved.

Last year 67 million primary-school-age children were denied the right to education. Those children now won’t learn the alphabet, how to count to 10 or higher, how to read, how hygiene can save their lives, or any life skills. We’re mad because we have to wake up at 7 and go to school when they don’t even complain about having to take care of their sick mother and their siblings. Are you still trapped? I could go on and give you stats about each of the topics listed, but you can read them yourself and become educated on your own because you have the ability to open a new tab and read articles.

The country has a way of running. No, not everything is perfect. There are more than 360 million people living in America and Canada, trying to figure out one system to help all 360 million+ people isn’t going to happen on the first try. These countries are still running a lot smoother than the third world countries out there. We were all taught that every action comes with a consequence. So don’t cry, make pictures, blog, or vlog complaining about the consequences that go with the action you chose.
-If you drop out of school, don’t expect a wide field of employment.
-If you don’t work, don’t expect a pay check.
-If you don’t get married, don’t expect to always have the same person waiting for you to get home.
-If you don’t have children, don’t expect to have a bundle of joy that will always fill you with joy.
-If you don’t watch TV or listen to the news, don’t expect to always be caught up on the latest news.
-If you don’t want to pay taxes or bills, don’t expect to have power next month.
-If you don’t obey the law, don’t expect to always have the comfort of your own bed.

Don’t complain that you’re enslaved.
You are not enslaved, you just aren’t aware of the easy life you’ve been given.

Fresh

It seems as though the world is becoming run down, old, and rotten. Things get old fast, nothing gets resolved, and we are constantly being pushed to do or buy something new. When do we slow down? Where do we get to hide away and take a serious look at what we’re doing with our lives? Why don’t we try something new that we like and not care what others think? We can’t and don’t do these things because there is no time or place to do so (or so we’ve been taught). But when we stop just for a minute, 60 seconds, a thought pops into our head. Something we want to do, something that is worth trying, something that’s fresh. When that 60 seconds is over our thought rots away just like the rest of these fresh ideas.

This is my fresh idea.

Writing. Sharing. Reading. Expressing. Becoming comfortable as me.

Love always,
Britt